I feel as though I'm up against "the wall" again. "The wall" as I've termed it is a recurring event in my life. I feel like I'm plugging along, getting things done, being a good parent, a good wife, in tune with God and then BAM - there's the "wall". When I hit it, I'm crippled....I lose motivation...I just want to hibernate...life suddenly becomes tiring and complicated. I think it has a lot to do with how much time I'm spending or not spending in communion with God through his word or prayer....it also has to do with fatigue.....and I think I have some unfinished grieving or something in my past that bogs me down. This year has really emotionally exhausted me for some reason. The driving here and there, the added responsibility at school and church...I don't know - some people do it so effortlessly. It feels good to just express this in my blog....I couldn't really put it into words until today, but the "wall" is a good description. Anyhow, I'm going to go to bed and pray that God, who is able, will remove this wall for me so I can see the joy ahead. Ironically enough, my KidZone lesson for tomorrow is about David dancing for joy before the Lord....so far removed from my own spiritual walk right now.
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Welcome to my blog. These are the thoughts, observations, opinions and ramblings of a mom who is balancing work, family and other aspects of life. I enjoy documenting life with my kids, so that's mainly what this blog is about!
2 comments:
Oh, Heather, I wish I had read your blog last night before we hung out this afternoon at Annette's baby shower, or at least had a chance to pray for you as you danced naked before the Lord in KidZone...oh, maybe you didn't say that, just a minute. HA!
Yes, God is able, more than able. I wonder if there is a piece of the wall that we all hit from time to time (not trying to trivialize your life right now by any means). For me I think sometimes it is God's way of drawing me back to him, as you said. Wish you could have been in the worship service this morning. Anyway, I'm glad you could be honest here - you have a lot on your plate right now, and I know God wants to bring glory to himself through your life. I wonder if some Christian counselling would help you work through your past issues? You always seem so remarkably together for all you've lived through. :) I don't really know what I think of counselling - I kind of go back and forth on it in my own life to be honest.
Sounds like our time at Women of Faith next weekend is coming at an excellent time (for you and for me!). Thanks for your friendship - I will say a prayer for you. I just thought of "josh" and the wall. :) He is able! Love you!
Thanks Bonnie....I actually snuck down for part of your worship package, mostly cause I love the song "Cover"...it was very minstering. I love the way the scripture was read in between Ancient words...reading scripture is very powerful in itself. We made tambourines up in KidsChurch and it made me laugh to see all these little rugrats shaking the tambourines, praising God in their own way...dancing like David...Thanks for your encouragement my friend.
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