Thirst

Something happened to my thirst for God's word lately. At a time of such illness and death in my family and friends' lives, I can only look at the cover of my Bible and turn away. It seems I should be drawn to God's Word at a time like this, but the opposite has happened. I need to just crack it open and forget the feelings, but oh, feelings can be so powerful. All kinds of things deteriorate in my life when I neglect time with God. I must be a slow learner because neglecting time with God is a pattern in my life. A journaling concept I was taught helped me a great deal, but now, even that, seems a chore rather than a joy. My prayer life is in survival mode right now. Part of it has to do with discipline and part of it has to do with distraction. I'm not sure what to pray but maybe, "Help" would be a good starting point. God is so faithful. I"m sure I would have given up on me a long time ago!